Never an Accountant
by ScottyBgood
Summary: it's been over two years since Robbie graduated and moved to new York to work on being a stand up Comedian. He's had very little success, in most parts of his life. Running into a friend one Thursday evening could change everything. Rated t for one vague reference to sex.


I own nothing, except possibly the name of the comedy club.

This story just wanted to be written. all comments welcome.

:}

Robbie was getting tired of the reactions he got on open mike night, or lack thereof. Tonight had been different, having finally taken a chance with his act. After two and a half years, his old stuff was beyond stale. Usually the only stuff people liked was Rex's, and he was always the punching bag. His act lacked whatever it was that made the great funny. He got laughs, but club manager after club manager felt he was too reliant on bad jokes and that annoying puppet. Rex hated the comment.

He had convinced his parents to let him go to NYU so he could study comedy. Okay, he was studying business administration with emphasis on accounting and tax laws, but that was just to keep his grandmother happy. As long as he studied these fields, he could live in New York and study comedy. So he chose his classes for early afternoon or late morning when possible and used as much time as he could to practice his craft. In new york, he could work three clubs per night and still keep up with his studies. The problem was after two and a half years he was still doing open mike nights.

He tried to work on his act, but the more he tried the more Rex would shoot him down. His dream, to be a comedian, felt so far away. Tonight was just like any other Thursday night. The club he was in, called Chucklefest, was his starting club. The owner let him come in and do a full fifteen minute set. Usually the only part the audience would liked involved Rex, and that was about it. Sometimes his other stuff would get laughs, but afterwords Rex just shot all of them down. Rex was the star, and Robbie found that the puppet could not cover the full fifteen minutes.

Robbie had another reason for coming to this club. Clara was no cat, but she was a pretty blond with a nice figure. The waitress had shot him down before, but tonight he was sure she would talk to him. He had amended his routine to include five minutes of new stuff that was funny and didn't include Rex. It got laughs and the manager had commented on it. He felt powerful, invincible, and that gave him the courage to try again. Until he tried to talk to her.

"Don't bother, loser. In fact, don't talk to me. Order your drinks from the bartender and stay away. I don't need your pseudo-nerd vibe driving away the actual men." Clara said. She was never nice to him, but that just made her hotter in his eyes. Attaining her would mean he was worth something, and his ego desperately needed the boost. He had even left Rex, against the puppets advice, in his carrying case so as not to be shown up. Robbie was hurt, almost broken, by Clara's words. He was ready to drag what was left of his ego away when another voice cut through the background noise.

"Oh my god." it was almost a sob. "Robbie, how could you do this to me? I mean, look at me? Isn't this enough?" he couldn't look. That voice had starred in more than one of his nightmares. The disrepair in her voice turned to longing as she continued. "I though I meant something to you. They way you left me tingling, panting and whispering your name?" She paused, inhaling as if savoring that moment. "Doesn't that count for anything? I thought I was special." Her voice broke at the end, and he had to look to confirm who it was. The pale, beautiful face, the long dark hair with the extensions (Green tonight) confirmed his suspicions. His friend and tormenter, the girl he was proud to say everyone feared, not just him, was standing just a foot away.

"Uh" was all he could muster. Jade West, whom he had to admit was probably a touch hotter than the blond waitress he had hoped to ask out, was there confronting him for an affair that never happened. "Jade?" he managed to say. Self preservation told him to run, a natural reaction when confronted with the dangerous Alpha of Hollywood Arts, but he couldn't move. He was surprised to see her since the Last thing he had heard, she was attending school in LA.

"Wait, what?" Clara said, clearly confused, trying to make the whole thing make sense in her head. She was gorgeous and he was Robbie. Things were not adding up.. Jade looked through her, giving her that glare that intimidated their classmates for the entire time they were at Hollywood arts. Robbie wanted to tell her to stop, that a New York waitress would be immune, but Clara shrank back and the bouncers closed in a bit telling him that Jade was still terrifying.

"You!" jade pointed at Clara. "You'd better treat him right. Cause the moment you don't, I'm gonna sweep in and snatch him back. Gank." Jade said, gave Robbie a quick wink, then turned on her heels and walked out the door.

Not knowing what to do, Robbie went to the back, grabbed Rex, and went to where his scooter was parked. He planned to hit two more clubs tonight, and would have to figure out Jades actions later, if that was even possible. As he went to where he was parked, he saw Jade arguing with her cell phone.

"The car was supposed to be waiting for me." She seemed listen, then "well that driver lost his tip. I need another car ASAP." she wasn't screaming, so he was confused. Anger and yelling were Jades way of getting what she wanted. Or dealing with the world in general.

"What was that back there?" He asked. He quickly regretted it, as Jades full, annoyed attention was instantly on him. Her hard glare softened, and she smiled.

"Bitches like her only want men they think they can't have. Now that she thinks you're a stud, she'll consider going out with you. Not that you need a grunch like her. By the way, I saw your act. You should develop more stuff without Rex. I think your humor works best as a confused comic, and he's just a prick." Jade was smiling, and helping him. This was wrong.

"Okay, spill. I was knocked out and this is all a dream, right?" He said.

"Worse. I'm promoting my first film, and needed a break from the talk show circuit. Decided to hit a club or two, and this one was highly recommended." She smiled as she spoke.

"First movie? Wow, what part did you get?" He was impressed.

"Writer, producer, director, and star. Well, one of the stars, since it's slasher type movie." She looked happy, and he couldn't blame her. Horror was definitely her genre.

"So when is it coming out?" he asked.

"Soon. It was a hit at the Hollywood film Festival, and that got me to Cannes. International distribution, great reviews. I'm gonna make so much money." She was smiling. Then the smile vanished as she asked "look, normally I'd rather be skinned alive then ride a scooter, but could you give me a lift?".

"Sure. Where are you going." He asked.

"Your next club. I was looking for you. And your roommate recommended these clubs." She said. He mechanically unlocked his scooter, pulled out both his helmet and the secondary one he kept in case some girl ever wanted a ride, and they were soon off to his next gig. His curiosity was on overdrive. Why was she looking for him. He decided tact was the best option.

"So why were you looking for me?" He asked as they rode.

"I'm in pre-production for my third movie. I'm trying to make one every summer, and with the first doing so well, I already have a distributor for my second. I decided I wanted to break type for my third, so I'm doing a romcom." Jade said as they made their way towards one of the bridges. It was a fifteen minute ride to the next club.

Robbie knew that films first had pre-production, usually three to six months but sometimes longer, then filming, and finally post production, taking from six months to a year or longer. It was no surprise that jade had her second film almost done. He suspected it was another horror film, or maybe suspense. Jades writing was very strong, and she excelled in those genre's. It also made sense she was branching out. No actor, writer, or director liked to be typecast.

"You've already finished two movies? My god, you're prolific." He was impressed. She was still in school for gods sake. If her movie was the success she seemed to think it would be, then she would become the second most successful member of the gang, possible the first if she made enough money..

"Ignore the others. You in for the romcom?" Jade asked again.

"Wait, what? You want me for your movie?" He was having trouble both driving and holding this conversation. It was hard to steer as is with jade's arms around his chest and her boobs in his back. The constant unexpected statements were not good for his concentration.

"Male lead. Beck would be off type, and I think you do comedy so much better." she said

"Yea, I suppose, but why me?" He was not believing her. It was to good to be true.

"Your a known commodity. I trust you. Besides, I intend to use your skills beyond just acting. You understand comedy, I hope, and can help keep the film funny. I know and trust you, and you can help the behind the scene technical stuff. You get to star in your first film. And the comedy clubs will actually pay you once you have any name recognition. " She said.

"I suppose. Summer, right? Were?" He asked.

"A sound stage in LA and some location pieces here." She replied.

"I'm in. I just needed to know why me. We've never really been friends." He stated.

"No, Rex has never been my friend. You are. And I want to help my friends." She said.

"Anyone else I know gonna be in it?" She was helping friends, maybe some of his friends would make an appearance.

"Just Trina. I can work with her, but I gotta ride her hard. I've mentally upgraded her to marginally talented, and am using her for supporting rolls. Okay, I kill her in each of my other movies. Did a lot of takes for the first one. It helped my stress levels. She knows what I allow, and I'm super strict with her. We work well together, and I can cut her part down if this doesn't work"

"That makes sense. Must be a pride thing, making Trina into an actress. Will there be kissing?" he asked, sounding a little excited.

"I'm gonna get myself a stunt double for that." she said. He hoped she was joking.

They finally arrived at his next club after hashing out the details. She promised him a contract within the week. "It was nice talking to you again." She said.

"You too." he said. Smiling. Jade quickly hailed a taxi, and sped off to her next interview. It was still before seven and Robbie walked into the club. He could perform if there were openings, but still had to pay the two drink minimum. Dinner usually covered that. Tonight he was going to riff, because he needed to get better at being funny. He would get good at improvising, at just taking the heckling and moving on. Jade had just made his career. Summer, and filming, started in three months. In a year, he would be known all over the world. Yes, he had to get funnier, faster on his feat. From now on, Rex could just watch. Five to ten minutes of material and he would just wing the rest.

The best part, he would never have to be an accountant.

:}

It doesn't go anywhere, but I like it.


End file.
